How I Took the Reins & You Can, Too
My whole life has been one big power trip.
And my quest has taken many forms.
On the playground sticking up for my bullied 2nd grade classmates.
In school. All during my years as a single mom. Throughout my real estate career. And while studying to become a master healer and coach. No matter what I’ve been doing outwards, I’ve always been digging for the truth about power.
Today I’m passionate about helping others discover and own their power so they can have the freedom, life and business they want.
But let me tell you, learning about power first-hand is not easy.
At birth, I was adopted by a wonderful family—in which I was the only one to ever raise her voice (or slam doors). To say I was different from my elegant, quiet, intellectual parents and brother is like saying Old Crow bourbon is different from Pappy Van Winkle.
Loud, proud and ready to rumble
I came in loud and proud and ready to rumble, and from a very early age, I also wanted the truth. Turns out I wasn’t going to find it in the closed adoption system of the early 1960s and in an extended family that wasn’t exactly thrilled to embrace this brown-eyed powerhouse of a child.
So I started carving my own path to the truth and set out to find who I was and what I was here to do.
Along the way, life continually presented me with opportunities to expand and shrink. (As it does for every one of us!)
When I was 11—at my very first job at an apple orchard—I saw my boss berating his wife. I knew this was bad, but didn’t know what to do. I quit on the spot and walked home. I took a stand and put my line in the sand, and I never forgot that moment or that feeling.
Around that same time, I was in a math class and my teacher called on me to give her the answer to a problem she’d written on the board. I gave an answer. And it was wrong. I shrank–and it was horrible. I had so much shame because my father and brother were math geniuses. I started to hide in the bathroom to do my math homework so they wouldn’t see how I struggled with it.
In 6th grade, I changed schools. For some, this might be traumatic—having to start over again and make new friends in a very small Kentucky town. For me, well, I worked that situation like a boss and became class president a few years later. I was confident and popular. My achievements were athletic and social rather than academic, though, so even in my expanded state I remained an enigma to my parents. Any shrinking I still felt about math I managed to cover up very well… I thought.
Empowering women along the way
Over the years, time and time again, I found myself there when women were in disempowering situations. I would always step in and help.
One evening, I was driving past a couple on the side of the road, and when I got closer, I saw the man was punching the woman repeatedly. I stopped, yelled to ask if she needed help, and she ran over and jumped in my convertible. We drove off with her husband chasing us.
I felt confident and clear to do what was necessary to get the woman out of harm’s way. I knew exactly what to do in those moments.
But guess what? Despite all my clarity and confidence at certain times and my ability to know what to do to help others, I still had a whole lot to learn about my own power.
I got married. Gave birth to my daughter. And then, everything changed. At 33, I almost died during the birth of my son.
The experience woke me up spiritually—and in the midst of navigating recovery from the amniotic embolism, a toddler and the newborn I’d nearly lost, and a very rocky marriage, I was handed the purpose of my life.
My near-death experience was my wake-up call
I knew I was supposed to help people heal. I became a licensed massage therapist and began taking coaching training. I loved it. But when my marriage ended a few years later, I found myself a 40-year-old single mom of three kids—with no spousal support and a hefty mortgage that my current massage practice was not going to cover.
I walked away from my practice and got my realtor’s license because I thought I needed to do that in order to make money.
I was good at selling houses, but that wasn’t all I did. Behind the scenes, I continued with my coaching training and learning holistic healing modalities. It got so I could see the minute I walked into a home why it wasn’t selling. I knew where the energy was blocked. And, interestingly enough, I could also see why my clients’ relationships went sideways or their businesses weren’t successful.
I inadvertently became the life coach for my real-estate clients. I knew exactly what was blocking their power and exactly where they were shrinking.
Finally taking my leap of faith
Doing this sideways kind of coaching wasn’t working for me—personally or financially.
It was another way of shrinking away from who I really was. That behavior never lasts too long in my life—I’m a truth-seeker, remember?
So when I turned 50, I took my biggest leap of faith yet. I left real estate.
I completed my coaching training and became a full-time, official coach—and I hired a high-level coach. Believe me, I was still a single mom and making such an investment was terrifying, but my desire to get to the other side of struggle was huge. It was big enough to carry me past my fear.
That coach kicked my butt, helped me see all the places I was still shrinking that I couldn’t see for myself, and re-introduced me to my own power.
I know that if I never decided to work with her, I would have bounced around forever in that painful pattern of shrink-expand-shrink . I would have kept blaming my situation, my ex, and the stresses of single parenting for keeping me small.
And I know all too well how much that would have sucked.
Through my trials and struggles … as well as my successes… I’ve discovered the way to be my most powerful self is NOT what society teaches us. True power that creates results, happiness and freedom comes from:
- trust my inner knowing
- be who I am from the inside out
- speak my truth
- take consistent action
- have a physical space that aligns with my highest intentions
- own my value and charge accordingly
- know that I’m enough
- no longer tolerate anything that doesn’t serve me and where I’m going
And do all of these always, every day—no exceptions. When I don’t do them, that’s when I start to fall back.
Today, the cost of shrinking is way too high for me
Practicing these principles and standing up for them in my clients’ lives has allowed me to quickly build a six-figure business, be a much better mom, and become the kind of coach who actually changes lives. I am living the purpose I realized the day my son Hayes was born.
Life is good. My youngest is about to head off to college on a full-ride football scholarship. I am excited to keep designing my lifestyle business with more travel, more truth, and more adventures. And I am devoted to continuing to EXPAND as I teach my clients to speak their truth, own their power so they can make money and live the life that’s waiting for them, and do that for myself every day.
Once you have dared to expand, it’s impossible to go back to shrinking.
Audre Lorde wrote, “When I dare to be powerful—to use my strength in the service of my vision—then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
My clients’ results never fail to blow my mind.
They are owning their power, whatever it takes.
They are expanding.
They are making money.
They are changing the world.
If you are ready to own your power as you bring your vision to life, join me.