What does “being nice” mean to you? I think our society has a skewed view of what it means to “be nice”.
Most women in leadership were taught to “be nice.“
And that’s a problem because to lead, you must speak up, tell the truth, stop following and lead, damnit.
We all received messages growing up from our parents, teachers and society.
“If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”
“Tend to your own knitting.” (my Grandmother’s favorite)
“Don’t rock the boat.”
“Keep the peace.”
I could go on and on…
What were the “be nice” messages you heard growing up? What has it cost you to be nice?
I am all for being polite in the right context and frankly, with the state of affairs we are currently in, some Mr. Rogers’ manners could go a long way.
But where does “Nice Nancy” turn into “Passive Polly“?
Here are 3 insights and costs of being “too nice”:
1. If you are always putting your own needs to the side because you are focused on meeting your client’s/family’s/friend’s demands you will end up with ZERO time for you and your long term goals. Without time spent on your goals, you just won’t get the results you want (I work with my clients on this a lot. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.)
2. Guess what type of clients you attract when you have no boundaries and are overly nice? Needy, emotionally draining, controlling, demanding, “swing between victim and bully” types of clients. Having clients like that leaves you worn out, broken down and dreading the next call. Shore up those boundaries and attract your ideal client!
3. Being nice and offering a “discount.” That is not an effective way to run your business. Being “nice” and offering discounts and special deals means you are undervaluing your gifts and not charging what you are worth. Own your value!
So, what is the solution to leaving behind the “be nice” world so that you step into greater levels of success?
You be you, you rock the boat, use your voice. You can be nice and still have great boundaries, find your balance, speak your truth.
- What is nice about leaving someone in pain?
- Or seeing them continue to fail in a job?
- Or allowing them to constantly complain about the same thing over and over and still get the same dismal results?
Be bold, be kind, own your value, have strong boundaries.
This world needs leaders and truth-tellers.
If this resonates, let’s talk!
All My Best,
P.P.S. – Do you know a Financial Advisor? If so, send them this link for my Financial Advisors On Fire initiative!
Want to chat? Schedule a call with me, let’s get you on track!