A couple of weeks ago, a woman called me about coaching. We spoke for a while about what coaching is and what it isn’t. She spoke a lot about being “stuck” and not being where she would like to be financially, romantically, business-wise, housing, there really was not one area of her life that she was satisfied with.
She said, “I would like to coach with you”.
So I told her all about my coaching programs, how they work and what the investment is.
Then it happened.
The dreaded “R” word.
She wanted something new in her life, and when she was presented with a way to really achieve it, her brain went into safety seeking overdrive AKA resistance. It is like clockwork after all of these years, the brain goes to the WHY it cannot possibly do what she said she wanted to do. It was an immediate reaction.
Resistance is any belief, behavior or thought, either conscious or unconscious, that contradicts our desire. It usually is subtle, running under the radar convincing you that it’s there to protect you and keep you safe.
Every time you decide to take a new direction in your life or set a new goal for yourself, resistance will show up. It is inevitable and a natural reaction to change. Humans do not like to be uncomfortable, we naturally seek safety and security.
It’s not a bad thing. It is, however very important to understand HOW it works. It is the reason that SO many people do not live the life of their dreams.
Resistance is fear.
Fear about change comes from beliefs we have and the decisions that we made about the world and how it works. These beliefs are made at a very young age and are usually unconscious. The beliefs can come from you or a family member, teacher, or religion…
So now what? I wish I could say that overcoming resistance is always easy. It is not.
My most successful clients started in this place of resistance, but they did not let it stop them. Even though it was not comfortable.
If you find yourself in resistance, here are 3 things you can do to begin to move through it.
- Acknowledge the uncomfortable place you are in. No judgment, just sit with it.
- Check in with what you are tolerating in your life and business. How long have you been in that place? What is your URGENCY to change it?
- Ask yourself if making the decision to move forward is going to help you achieve the goals that you want in your life and business. If yes, then do it. If no then it’s not resistance, it is not your path. You have to be REALLY honest with yourself.
When you are working with resistance and the unconscious mind it can be very tricky and not always easy.
If you want to go deeper around this area of resistance and beliefs, I have spent the last 6 months becoming a Certified Clear Beliefs Coach. This is the MOST effective negative belief clearing, resistance busting method that I have ever seen.
If you need some help with any of the above, hop on my calendar!
Here’s to you creating the experience you want in your life!
PS – The woman I first spoke about has decided to move forward with coaching! Yay!! I love this work.